The CIA acquired data from a laptop discovered in a Gaza tunnel revealing that funnyman-turned-thespian Jonah Hill was voted by Hamas to be “The Sexiest Person Alive”  for a third straight year.

The secret ballot confirmed that the portly actor (known for portraying a masturbating party-goer in The Wolf of Wall Street) was the terrorist group’s unanimous choice.  Coincidentally, he just enjoyed the same distinction by 25-and-under members of the Wisconsin Tea Party. These statistics were listed publicly under the “Interests” section of like-minded Republicans.

Hill added his Middle-East distinction of his IMDb page.


The Bad News - International Desk
By Len Austrevich

Click Here for Related Bad News: “IMDb - JEW OR NOT”

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